Guardians of the (Mario) Galaxy?

On the verge of E3 2018, game announcements – and cryptic viral marketing – are flying at us left right and centre. Buried beneath the Pokemon avalanche of the last 24 hours, Fallout 76 and even Team Sonic Racing is the recent rumour that Starfox is being reimagined as a kart racer. Only Mario, Zelda, Smash and Mario Kart can truly be described as being on top form at the moment: Starfox devoid of its star status since the N64; Metroid Prime 3 is a decade old and perhaps worse of all F-Zero is stuck on the GameCube. The space between the high points of these franchises and where they stand now is vast but is also the thing which binds them: space…

These franchises – all set in the black – have struggled for a variety of reasons. Starfox has struggled to push past the reality of it being a plastic – yet furry – Star Wars. Metroid has never had the commercial appeal of its peers; F-Zero also has failed to reach Mario numbers. It is worth noting that Zelda: Breath of the Wild was the first real mega-success in terms of units sold. Although beloved by a hardcore army of fans, many Nintendo’s franchises beyond the aforementioned and Pokemon are in need of radical reform. What if Metroid and F-Zero and Starfox became one?

Banding together the unlikely heroes in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy could be the inspiration for this. Captain Falcon – who many would be hard-pushed to associate with his franchise – needs a reboot/revamp in personality. Think 90s Tomb Raider to the PS3 era series or more recently God/Dad of War on PS4. Give him an edge. Give him a purpose other than winning races. Make him Starlord.

Obviously, the small mammal role goes to Fox McCloud. Star Fox’s plucky captain would make a good fit to the group as well as competition to Falclord (you.are.welcome.Nintendo). It also gives a narrative excuse to cut some of Fox’s anthropomorphic ensemble cast. Contrastingly, Samus Aran of Metroid fame has struggled to hold down a meaningful supporting set of characters. Samus brings an air of mystique, a sense of duty and also prevents this being a fully male team. It would be easy to call her the Gamora of the group but Samus is far too incorruptible as a renowned yet straight- laced bounty hunter. She is the boy-scout (girl guide?)/Superman (erm..Supergirl) of the group.

That uses up the A-list characters from these franchises; there are still two places to fill. Drax and Groot are the two (MCU lineup) guardians remaining. This is where it gets weird.

Groot is a fairly easy character to cast. Petey Piranha from the Mario series is an obvious candidate. That would be a like-for-like switch. Another possibility is a Pikmin. It stands to reason that this group could have stumbled across these creatures at some point. Finally, a Deku Shrub from Zelda could fit the bill if we really wanted to connect the UNESverse (that’s either a TM or a cease and desist…).

In the role of the muscle, there are more limited options. Who is this crew’s Jayne? There’s only one answer: Waluigi! This would add a criminal element to the ensemble whilst giving this cult favourite a chance to shine at last. If not, insert your choice of Pokemon here.

Now that we’ve got a lineup, the genre needs nailing down. What would be the game style of choice? A 3rd person Tomb Raider/Witcher/Uncharted style adventure would possibly fit best. With the unique abilities of the characters co-op or squad mechanics would add variety to each play through. Perhaps there are branching areas and secrets only specific characters can access. It would be a great addition to Nintendo’s online portfolio. If we really want to dream, adding in Strikes and Raids – in addition to a story mode – would give Nintendo their games as a service title. There would definitely need to be racing and Arwing battles to pay homage to previous games.

On a quick note, the antagonist could easily be one of the many previously seen in the individual series. Or a newly created character. Or Earthworm Jim…

Back in 2014’s Guardians of the Galaxy, we are introduced to each character in a police lineup as they are processed ready to send to the kyln. Imagine the Nintendo equivalents in that lineup (probably not having Falclord giving the middle finger).

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Nintendo Indirect

Evaluating the hidden clues in the recent Nintendo Direct

Last Thursday’s Nintendo Direct was the one which finally met – and probably exceeded – all expectations. However, there’s a few bits and pieces of subtext to what Nintendo announced:

1. GameCube Virtual Console isn’t happening

Basically any title Nintendo releases in 3D post 2001 is game for a HD/3DS remake. Expect Mario Sunshine and Wind Waker/Twilight Princess to fill in the gaps between the next original incarnations of the series. Why charge £7.99 on virtual console when you can charge £49.99, right? If the games come with modern advancements like wide-screen that’s fine with me.

2. Samus Aran

Smash Bros usually has the most recent iteration of Nintendo characters in its roster so we can expect a few subtle hints to what Nintendo’s underused bounty hunter will be up to in Metroid Prime 4. It would be unthinkable to fathom a Smash game without her; I anticipate more than one tease for her next adventure.

3. Wii U 2019

With Captain Toad, Hyrule Warriors and Donkey Kong hitting Switch this year already – joining Mario Kart 8 – Nintendo seems to be drip feeding the Switch’s predecessor’s back-catalog out over the next few years. Mario 3D World, Mario Maker, Yoshi and New Super Mario Bros will no doubt pop up later in Switch’s lifecycle. OG Wii re-releases are conspicuously by their absence though…

4. E3 is all about Holiday 2018

The Switch has a healthy selection of support going to the end of July. June’s E3 events (whether they be Directs or Treehouse Live) will be all about the holiday season. We know Smash will be there but expect at least three more titles to pick up in time for Christmas. One of those will likely be Labo based and with Metroid Prime 4 and Pokemon looking like 2019 games, we might see HD re-releases or spin offs from these series. Plus we’ll know exactly what Virtual Console/Nintendo Classic/Nintendflix will look like too!

Possibly the most important and exciting piece of information from the Direct was how bullish Nintendo is prepared to be. Q1 was clearly just a chance for everyone to catch their breath before the big guns came out. Crash Bandicoot, Okami, South Park and No More Heroes are the right types of games for Switch: ideally suited to the versatility of the console. Expect even more at E3 to wrestle attention from Spider-Man and (yawn) Crackdown 3. It’s good to see the kind of swagger Nintendo has seldom been willing to share.

Mario Motion Oddity

Given the unique selling point of the Switch – universally useable in home console, tabletop or handheld modes – a strange phenomenon has hit Super Mario Odyssey. Quite simply, certain control modes limit Marino’s move-set. The game, which released to critical acclaim, is amazing but this strange design choice has got the internet in a perpetual question block.

Within the first couple of hours, you are introduced to Mario’s move-set; anyone who has played Marios 64 or Galaxy will feel right at home. Mario’s new hat techniques are where the controls divert into strange-town. A tap of ‘y’ or a flick of the right Joy-con sends your hat in the direction you are pointing – so far, no problems. If you are in separate Joy-con mode, motion control is there if you want it; for all other Switch configurations the ‘y’ button will suffice. A flick of the Joy-con will spin Mario’s hat around him (a la Link’s spin attack) and if not in separate Joy-con mode you simply…erm…there’s no alternate way of actioning this motion! 

For pennilessdads (and mums) this presents a difficult problem: if you want to play the game with Mario’s full move-set, parent-friendly handheld mode isn’t really an option. The spin mechanic isn’t as essential as say jumping or sliding but it is a rare case of Nintendo dropping the ball in this game. 

If nothing else, it is another example of the Switch’s quality motion controls. That HD remaster of Skyward Sword might be possible still! 

Edit: there are ways sans split Joycon to pull off spin throw and other advanced motion moves. However, compared to the aforementioned, similar moves in Breath of the Wild, these are not as consistent in execution. Git gud you say? Perhaps, but given the advantage the motion moves give you, there should be a fairer playing field than this mefinks.